CONFUCIOUS SAY: I wanted to welcome gentle Mushroom to our group.

Brother Marc: I thought we agreed to call him gallagher? it would show the deep earthy connection he has with the fair folk of the wandering tribe.

CONFUCIOUS SAY: Pagans?

Brother Marc: Eqyptians! Gypsies! Travellers! Pikeys! Those quaint folk of mooirland and caravan. My word, when enid sung those tunes of hers and danced nakd around her gas stove i'd imagine ,myself a gnome reading my runes and tarot alive under the stars with the heavens laid bare above me the weight of the firmament pressing upon me and globe of the moon gleaming before my eyes/

CONFUCIOUS SAY: you are a wel travelled man, Brother Marc and your stories are fodder for my dreams that's for sure!

ROUND GIRL (Tamzin): are we still practicising ethereal T'ai Chi at home or are gatherings to commence again?

CONFUCIOUS SAY: My chee is rising.

DIVINE PHOENIX (Scottie): Camel hump cannot be a real posture name, can it? Humping camel sounds better!!!! Hahahahhaha!!

CONFUCIOUS SAY: No need to be smutty. translation is lways a tricky number. What the towits wizards meant is not always clear from the transaltion.

HOBO SAPIEN (Roger): You must just feel the heavenly glow of the ether expanding your consciosness from eternity to eternity in an unbroken chane of wonderus fulfilment and joy.

CONFUCIOUS SAY: Roger, you have returned from the woods again. Luvly to here from yu again sweetie. Have you been sleeping outdoors?

DIVINE PHOENIX (Scottie): You said that my parents wouldnt mind me doing naked t'ai Chee in the garden and they do. they got really pissed yesterday afternoon. I thought that my gran was going to faint. i had to promise not to do it again just to calm them all down it was a nightmare!!!

CONFUCIOUS SAY: Oh, pah! Your parents have probably tried everything under the sun, my dear.... i did anyway so why wuld they be different, eh? just do it after dark and they'll get over it..

DIVINE PHOENIX (Scottie): my dad wants me to "talk about it" with them. They think that i'm under too much stress at college. I told them it was just the 18 exercises.

CONFUCIOUS SAY: ask them to jpoin you?

SWEATY WEAZEL (Pat): You're a deviant, Scott!!!

CONFUCIOUS SAY: He's not!

Brother Marc: I am now.

CONFUCIOUS SAY: You are what?

Brother Marc: I am now.

CONFUCIOUS SAY: Could you elaborte, Brother Marc? You're teaching is to profund for me...

Brother Marc: I am now.

CONFUCIOUS SAY: Well, yes. I guess yo are.

NERVOUS MONKEY (Philip): Can we hope for another visit from Brother Marc, soon? His approach to T@ai Chi is unique. I have never seen anybody do it quite like that before. He doesnt keep to the orthodox 24 step. He just adds an extra step if he want to.

CONFUCIOUS SAY: We are awed by Brother Marcs animal dance. He is working the streets of some sorry town right now, convertting the wicked anmd uncorrupting the sinners/ wjat a gent.

NERVOUS MONKEY (Philip): How do you feel about the changes to the number of steps? It makes me unsure when we deviate from the Towists wizards like CMC.

CONFUCIOUS SAY: Who is CMC, Phil? Brother Mthew has his own path and you have yours. We had our paths laid out for us from the dawn of time to the end of cretaion. and no matter whether we seem to wander we are all still on thta path and it will lead us to wherever it sees fit nad nobody else can say if it is right or it is wrong.

NERVOUS MONKEY (Philip): I'm not sure that you've answred my questions!

CONFUCIOUS SAY: The ta'i Chi is just arm moves, right? Its all in the hands. Anyone can do it and everyone can be an instructor if they wnat to be. Whether it is this move or that, it matters not.

NERVOUS MONKEY (Philip): If it is just arms, why is it called 'steps'?

CONFUCIOUS SAY: Because each step is with the hand.

NERVOUS MONKEY (Philip): I see. So, I could do a 53 step form and the Towits wizards would approve?

CONFUCIOUS SAY: Well yes, of course! 53 is a magic number..

NERVOUS MONKEY (Philip): It is also my age.

CONFUCIOUS SAY: I should have guessed!!

Brother Marc: I was standing pole in Sheffield last week when the strangest phenomeron happened. There were joggers jogging their usual jog around the park. Suddenl;y this meaty rugby player started tackling them.

CONFUCIOUS SAY: Was he some sort of psycho, then>

Brother Marc: he kept on running after the joggers and dragging them down, then gettingup and going after the next one. It re,minded me of god.

CONFUCIOUS SAY: In what way?

Brother Marc: God wants us to tackle things in life and this man, this poor beffuddled man in his stripy jumper and short trousers and studded boots was out their tackling his problems in his own way/.

CONFUCIOUS SAY: Is this really what god wants?

Brother Marc: It says in Corinthians that god thinks we should tackle our problems.

(Brother Marc on pilgrimage in the coalfields)

CONFUCIOUS SAY: WQhat does this mean, then Brother Marc?

Brother Marc: It was a sign. go out there and tackle a jogger!!!

CONFUCIOUS SAY: Metaphoriclly!! netaphorically!.

MEANINGFUL SHADOW (Angela): I prcatice t'ai chee every day and feel OK but the animal dances all kind of feel the same.

CONFUCIOUS SAY: |Have you lost your faith???

MEANINGFUL SHADOW (Angela): Can't figure the diffreence between 24 and 48 step and all the rest. Whether its Chen man chin or wu style or 24 step they all feel the same.

CONFUCIOUS SAY: |They probably have more or less steps?

MEANINGFUL SHADOW (Angela): They are hollow.  Do i saund mad?

CONFUCIOUS SAY: No dear, youre not mad!!. not many people realise what you have relaised. THERE is more. MUCH more. Trust me. there is another side to t'ai chee..

MEANINGFUL SHADOW (Angela): Another side? Is it possible to learn this other side? does it involve auric transcandentalism? I love that stuff.

CONFUCIOUS SAY:  the other side of t'ai chee is not the easy road to travel. Me, nate or the other teachers in the north east dont know the other side at all. there is a man in sunderlnd who teaches it. has a big website.Too much like hard work if you ask me. Plus, He has no interedst in fairies.

MEANINGFUL SHADOW (Angela): why don't you tecah it?.

CONFUCIOUS SAY:  i don't know it. i just teach FUN. so long as we have fun, thta is all i care about. What would t'ai che be without animal dance and nuudity? Pretty boring that's what!

URBAN NINJA (Paul): I heard of this too. It sound whacked out madly bonkers. I tell you/" balancing chee" - thats the school. or maybe not?/??

CONFUCIOUS SAY: Altan has something to tell us all.

RED DAWN (Altan): Peter jackson has agreed to make the hobbit, i nearly crapped my pants with exceutement!!!!

CONFUCIOUS SAY: that wasn't what i meant. We DONT care about hobbits. tell them about the towist wizard you found near the docks.

RED DAWN (Altan): Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.